The Secret to Learning to Ride on 2 Wheels!

I feel like we discovered a secret. Well not really, whoever invented the balance bike discovered the secret and actually they were smarter about it, because they are making money off of this secret. Those of you with small children have probably seen or even purchased the balance bike pictured here:

If you are not familiar with this bike, it is built very similar to a regular bike however it does not have pedals. The children use their feet to make it move, like the Flintstone's car. For us, when we bought Elijah (now 4 years old) his first bike for Christmas last year, we bought a bike with training wheels like we thought we were supposed to as his first bike. As he transitioned from his tricycle to this bike, I began to notice many children on these balance bikes. I realized something. Learning to ride a two-wheeled bike is pretty difficult especially coming from a bike with training wheels. The training wheels are not level with the ground and are designed to catch the child when the bike tips. Therefore, when they are riding it the bike slightly tips back and forth because they never really are balancing on the two wheels. It becomes a clutch for them. So, when the training wheels are taken off, two wheels is even more difficult to learn because it's like they are starting over again. They become accustomed to having that clutch of the slight wobble. If a child begins with the balance bike they learn to balance first as they use their feet to move the bike and lift their feet once going fast enough. So when they attempt a regular bike with pedals, they already know how to balance and so they are only learning one extra step which is pedaling while they balance.

I looked into purchasing a balance bike which are equally or more expensive than a regular bike, so, we improvised. We used his bike by taking off the pedals and chain, creating our own balance bike. He figured out how to balance in a couple days, and within a week or so he was coming down the driveway on his "balance bike." After we felt he had gotten the hang of it, we put the pedals and chain back on. He literally took off on a two-wheel bike the first time he got on. I honestly feel that because he had the balance part of learning down already pedaling came naturally. If we had started him on a balance bike first, I definitely feel he would have been riding on two wheels even earlier. I'm confident that any child could learn this quickly. For us, the purchase of a balance bike wasn't needed, just the technique and purpose of the balance bike. He is still riding the original bike we bought, but on two wheels. And when Liliana (10 months old) is ready for a bike I'm going to do the same thing, buy her a two-wheel bike and take the pedals and chain off.

Boundaries - Testing Them Has Gone Far Enough

We expect all children to test their boundaries, they wouldn't be human if they didn't. A small part of me feels a little relieved though when watching them hold their own, and questioning what is right and wrong. It makes me feel like I'm raising a strong individual who isn't going to back down when they have an opinion about something. Lately though, I've been feeling like I'm confusing that "strong individual" with a stubborn, tests all limits individual who could find himself in trouble as he progresses through school... Let me explain.

Everyone told me "watch out for the terrible twos," and the "thundering threes," but don't worry the fours, they are glorious. They are old enough to understand, you are able to reason with them, it's much easier. My four year old? He's able to understand alright, and he uses that understanding to try to manipulate you. Even though he knows right from wrong and yes you are able to reason with him most times, it doesn't mean he doesn't try to get away with things. At home, we are constantly taking things away or using time-outs. I had started to wonder though, is he ever going to realize that we aren't going to back off? I just don't know, and it's exhausting.

We have wondered into a new era where I have little control, school. We have been getting reports of behaviors at school. They are the same things we see at home. The testing, seeing what he can get away with, the defiance. Now, it's my opinion but it's one thing to act a certain way at home, and it's a whole other problem to act out with others (especially people of authority) because then we venture into the disrespect zone. Here's what we've been getting told from his teachers:

• He has a hard time following directions and has to be told more than once to do or not do something.
• He pouts if he doesn't get his way.
• Has a difficult time sharing.
• Is bossy during play.

Now, I understand most of this is all kids, but the first bullet point is what worries me. It mostly worries me because I know it's a choice he's making, it's not like he doesn't understand. I know this because after the first bad report from school came back and his toys were taken away, the next day they raved about how amazing he was, and what an awesome listener he was being. All he did was turn on the charm to get what he wanted. That lasted about a week until...

Today:

• His response when asked to follow a direction was "I don't want to." and
• He called another child "Stupid."

Ohhhh, I was livid. I feel at a loss. First of all, "I don't want to????" Since when is that EVER a response to someone telling you to do something? And "Stupid?" He has NEVER used that word around me not even on accident. Who is this kid? My fear is that he's "that kid," in the classroom and I'm not ok with it. So today, I took away his entire playroom, and all surrounding toys. In the past when something is taken away, he can earn it back with good behavior. However, I'm seeing a manipulative trend with that. He'll behave amazingly when he gets something out of it, i.e. a toy back, or a special reward. This was proven today when he asked, "So tomorrow, when I'm a good boy at school do I get my toys back?" Uggggghhhh! He's just too smart! I decided that his toys remain put away until Friday evening. If he has a good day at school then GREAT! He will get a ton of praise, but his toys will stay. If he has a bad day again the toys stay put away and we'll add a day.

Who knows if this is the right way to handle it. We all have to choose what is best for our individual children, which is so hard because it's really trial and error. How they will learn lessons, and realize that all of their actions have consequences good and bad. I don't want him to decide to have a good day at school because he thinks he's going to get something out of it. I want him to have a good day at school because good behavior is expected and how he gets treated by his teachers, peers, and everyone else, as well as what he's thought of as a person is the "reward."

Some of you may be feeling like I'm over thinking this, or that he's only four so I'm being harsh. I just feel like if I lighten up, we'll forever have problems in school and he'll always feel it is ok to question authority. I just hope I can find what works, what motivates him, and what teaches him. The reality is that he's going to have a bunch of different teachers growing up. Some will be strict and some will be lenient. I feel like he (as well as all children) should be able to stay neutral and adapt to any one of them.

He did seem to feel remorse which is a good sign. The look on his face when he realized he wouldn't just have to be a good boy for the toys was priceless. The constant rants of "I'm bored," "What am I supposed to do?" "This isn't fair," helped me feel better about my decision. This isn't fair though? It's really only not fair to me! Taking away his toys meant that I was stuck all afternoon with the whining, turning in circles, making noise because he was bored. I was feeling like I was going to go crazy. I was punished more than he was!!!

Does anyone else have a child they are having similar issues with? If so, how did you handle it? What worked best for you?