The Baby-less Friends

November 2, 2008

What happens to your baby-less friends when you have a baby? What role are they expected to take on? I would assume the opinion varies depending on who you're talking to, the baby-less friend or the friend with the new baby.  This is something I'm still struggling with. How do I keep the important people who have been in my life happy when you add my lil' guy to the mix? I've come to one conclusion... some of these friends are supportive and are there for you but they don't always want to be around you AND the baby, it's just not the same for them. Especially since they don't quite understand what you're going through. And maybe they just won't apprehend this until they have children of their own.  As insensitive as this seems for the baby-less friend to sound, it's the harsh reality, and they are entitled to feeling this way. So what are us new Mom's left with to do? Not only are we juggling work (some of us), housework, spouses, errands, and some space for ourselves (which includes what? Finally a shower that's not rushed or a shower without crying in the background because lil' man doesn't want to be in the jumper?) Aside from that let's not forget actually taking care of our child which is the equivalent to two full time jobs. We now have to find time and energy to hang out with our baby-less friends without the baby? This again seems insensitive, from the Momma's side, but is the harsh reality. Are Mom's being selfish, or are the baby-less friends being unrealistic, or is everyone just insensitive?

March 28, 2009

At this point, I've felt like giving up is my only option. I just cannot please everyone. I can't have the best of both worlds. I've reached a place in my life where I'm forced to let go of how things worked in the past. Even when I have the opportunity to have a baby-less adventure out, it's exhausting just thinking about the preparation for it. If Joel (Dad) is not available or is coming with me, first it's finding a sitter and with limited family members here that's tough. Then packing for the baby while trying to get ready myself all while he's tugging at my leg looking for my attention, it's stressful. Lastly the point that gets me every time is that with everyone mostly working during the day, these opportunities present themselves as evening time activities, therefore they end up with a late night return. This always has me thinking the entire time "Shit, I have to get up in x hours." I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like fun, it's agony. To me, this is all just not worth it. But then, while I'm sitting at home on a Friday night at 8:30pm with Elijah asleep I can't help but feel lonely. I start to realize that sometimes I miss that life, and wonder if it's even possible to juggle both.

July 30, 2009

I'm stuck in such a hard place. On the one hand I feel I have no choice, that there's too much on my plate already and I can only afford people in my life who can try to understand where I'm coming from. But on the other hand I feel guilty, and feel as though this is part of the adjustment and something I'm supposed to find within myself to make it work. Either way, it's something that I constantly think about, worry about, and it frightens me that I may lose a couple of close friends.

I wrote this post back in July (2011) and just recently I stumbled upon this article 

responding to a baby-less friends side of

the story. One of the best answers I've heard

yet!!