"Terrible Twos"

Around the time Elijah was 16-18 months old we used to joke that we were already entering the "terrible twos." He had been showing some glimpses of independence, and was definitely attempting to voice his opinions. We found his tantrums a little humorous, and felt we were doing an ok job handling them. The word "entering" is definitely the key word. We had no idea that we were just scraping the surface. With June (Eli's second birthday) rapidly approaching, we are now full-fledged faced with the "terrible twos", and at the rate its going we've still got a long way to go. His tantrums are more often, less humorous and now sometimes we’re often wondering if we are in fact handling it "ok." We're using time outs as a disciplinary method which seem to be effective but there are so many times where a time out seems needed that we're not sure when in fact to actually use them, so they end up happening often. There are times when Eli just seems grumpy and for what seems like no reason at all. He's opinionated, stubborn, and selfish. He has a hard time sharing, doesn't follow directions the first time he's asked and gets upset when he doesn't get his way. He's also incredibly sweet, kind, a huge cuddle bug, and extremely funny. Although he has a hard time sharing and following directions, he will come around if told again or he’s told that he’s not being nice. When he gets upset for not getting his way, tantrums usually don’t last long and eventually he does move on. He seems genuinely sorry when he realizes he’s not being a good boy, but it doesn’t stop future tantrums from happening, nor does it put an end to the same tantrums happening over again. So, what’s the secret? How do we get them to learn a lesson for the next time, so it won’t happen again or quite as often?

We have figured out a few tricks to help get through dinner at a restaurant, or through a play date. Alternate activities and keeping him busy have been a huge success. Time outs seem to calm him down a bit so that we can at least talk to him and tell him what he's doing is not ok. But what happens when he realizes he can actually get up from a time out? Are they truly a threat to him? Does he already pick up on the idea that by getting himself put there, we’ll be nice to him when he’s done his time? Bottom line is we’re aware that most of the tantrums are simply a huge test, and we just have to find our inner patience, stick to our guns and get through it. All the while using this time to make sure to teach what acceptable behavior is and what is not. I'm not going to lie, it's exhausting! We try to be consistent, we try to follow through, and we try to make sure rules we set are always followed, even the rules we’ve set for ourselves. The hardest part is not knowing if we’re making a difference or getting through to him and fearing the unknown of how it will affect his behavior when he’s older.

I've heard age 3 is even more difficult, so I guess we're in for a long ride. I feel up for the challenge, when he turns 4 I'll let you all know how things panned out!